Rereading My Childhood - The Baby-Sitters Club #30: Mary Anne and the Great Romance by Ann M. Martin
In which I bring my sister with me, we question the BSC pricing structure, and HIPAA violations
The 30th entry into the main line of The Baby-Sitters Club makes a bold promise in its title, Mary Anne and the Great Romance. Because I was promised something along the lines of Jane Austen, I was disappointed when I got neither romance nor greatness. The real story revolves around the dynamics between best-friends after an irrevocable change. That’s a worthy exploration in itself, but with a title like that, I wanted to swoon! I wanted to feel my heart flutter. Instead, a pretty cool woman marries a pretty dull man with no explanation as to why that pretty dull man can bag that pretty cool woman. It was like showing up to a girls lunch but your friend brings her new fiancé unannounced and he’s berating the waitress for having blue nail polish. She’s apologizing for him and swearing that he’s not usually like that, but you know better. He’s that disappointing.
Dawn and Mary Anne’s single parents have been dating each other and the girls talk about it for almost fifty pages before the proposal finally happens. In those fifty pages, we never see Mr. Spier in any romantic context. Instead, we are treated to his various pointless rules for his daughter: no saying “hey,” no “interruptions” (which seems to imply that Mary Anne can’t have a dialog with him and she must wait a full three seconds before she can speak), no doing your homework with another person without permission, and, finally, no nail polish besides clear, and even then Mary Anne had to ask for permission. What would make a woman want this man? He’s not even kind to his daughter. What makes Mrs. Schafer think he’ll be kind to her? Where is this man’s romantic side? Luckily, none of these questions are answered. Did I mean “unfortunately?” No, I didn’t. It’s lucky for you because I’m telling you right now and you don’t have to read a 120-page kids book to find out the answer. Lucky you.
Mary Anne cooks his food and asks him about his day. So his daughter is more like a wife he can fully control than his ridiculously responsible daughter. All those rules and she still has to wait on him hand and foot. This is the man Mrs. Schafer, a woman who doesn’t want to be given away like property, wants to marry. All I need is one moment, however fleeting, of this man doing something romantic for his love interest or thoughtful for his daughter. We never get that. We get Mr. Spier’s Litany for a Terrible Life.
Stoneybrook must be a dearth of single men and Mrs. Schafer must need the money. Otherwise, why is she marrying anyone? Or maybe she wants to harvest Mr. Spier for his body parts. Do we know if they’re the same blood type? I guess she could sell the body parts and spend the money on a great future for Mary Anne, who will get to live with none of the constraints and free to make her own nail polish decisions.
While this is going on, Mary Anne must contend with a massive change. At first, the prospect of having a sister excites Mary Anne. But when she realizes that she has to move away from her childhood home and that Mrs. Schafer doesn’t love Tigger the same way as Mary Anne, the changes seem insurmountable. The predictable life she is accustomed to is crashing around her and her phlegmatic father’s demeanor provides no comfort.
This is a more interesting point-of-view that should be explored in fuller detail, but it’ll have to wait. There is no resolution - it’s just the last page of the first part, which is to be continued in the next book. That’s right, folks, this is a two-parter.